Why new mums deserve to be pampered

The SuperMamas network revolves around the idea that new mums deserve to be pampered. But strangely enough, we often see that new mums don’t really want to – or at least feel a bit of unease to ask for help. Mums-to-be might think that, surely, they’d be fine without the extra help… or not?

What is going on here? Why aren’t we all of us not jumping for joy at the idea of some Tender Loving Care after the biggest achievement of our lives (remember that baby that came out of your body)?

I have a little confession to make – I was one of these pregnant women who thought she could manage well on her own. I moved with my husband to Berlin when I was 7 months pregnant with my first baby. I bravely went to the gynecologist and prenatal yoga classes in my broken German. I discovered that things were done differently here compared to the Netherlands. I adjusted. I didn’t make a fuss because I could handle it: I’d moved before, I’d managed obstacles before, I knew how to plan and execute.

Then the time came to give birth. The funny thing about giving birth – and becoming a mama for that matter – is that this determination of ‘making it on your own’ doesn’t help much once the baby is there. It’s then that we need to let go of our ingrained assumption that we DO NOT need help. Because we do. Because having a baby is a scary, wonderful thing. It unites women around the world. Perhaps we should welcome the feelings of tenderness, love and vulnerability that are naturally nurtured with having a baby.

I have a friend who was bravely weathering the first days of motherhood until her best friend, mum of a little boy, came to visit. She then let go of all her defenses and started crying of happiness because there was finally someone she could really relate to – someone who’d been through it herself. Someone who sympathized.

SuperMamas offers a glimpse of this recognition – even if you do not know this person well. The mere fact that they went through the trouble of cooking a meal for you shows that they care deeply. Who knows, they might end up becoming a friend. It wouldn’t be the first time.

— Marijke

Join our wonderful community of supportive mothers over here: https://app.supermamasgermany.org/